Baby Weekend

I haven't written in a while, but that doesn't mean I haven't been thinking baby!  This weekend we went and saw some friends of ours that recently had babies.

One couple had a baby two weeks ago.  Their sweet boy was teeny tiny it seemed.  He actually was almost 9 pounds when born, but he just had these little fingers and little bitty toes.  In all reality, it freaked me out.  I can't imagine having something that little to take care of.  Someone told me today mothering all comes naturally, but still.  It just scared me.

Also, we saw another baby boy that is now almost 6 months.  The last time I saw him was when he was in the NICU born 1 month prematurely.  He is A LOT bigger than the last time I saw him and SO happy and cute!  He was a sweet boy, and kept gagging himself by putting his fingers in his mouth.  I just wanted to eat him up. 

We wanted to see another baby, but they weren't home.  It seemed to be baby weekend!  It's weird how I go back and forth between wanting a baby and being scared to death.  In due time, I'm sure things will even out.  Let's hope!

Quoteable Quotes

Two things have stuck out to me this past weekend:

"We're given what we're given."
and
"Nervous is normal, fear is a choice."

We're given what we're given--

Hubby and I were eating at Applebee's and I was word vomitting all the things I am worried about when it comes to making and having a baby.  What if I have a miscarriage?  What if the baby is born early?  What if the baby has a disability?  What if, what if, what if.  I worry about these things, a lot.  My hubby's simple response was, "We're given what we're given.  There is nothing we can do about it." 

That comment really struck me.  God does give us what He gives us. There is not much I can do to control it.  Sure, I can eat the right things, do the right things, etc.  But when it comes down to it, there is not much I can do.  Except pray.  And I have been.  Praying for a healthy baby, praying that we would be good parents.  Praying. 

Nervous is normal, fear is a choice--

I heard this today at church.  And I almost started crying.  I knew God was speaking directly to me through this pastor.  It's as if God was saying, "Yes, it is normal to be a little nervous.  But fear?  That is your choice, and there is no fear in love."  I need to trust in Him that he will take care of me.  No matter what. 

I thank God that He talks to me and is relevant in my life.  Another thing that I read in my Bible study was "when we see things changing, we should consider that God is up to something."  Hubby has been more apt to talk about having a baby, even telling others about it when asked/probed.  This is new, and I get excited about it.  I think, "well, all my reverse pyschology must have paid off!"  But no, it's God.  When things change, it means God is up to something.  God is working on my hubby's heart, I don't have to.  God has it under control.  I'm so thankful for that.

Step 1: Admit you have a problem...or in this case....something to try for!

New step-- I have begun telling people we will most likely start trying in August.  I am actually not hesistant, but pretty excited to tell people.  It's hard to not talk about things you are excited about or expecting (no pun intended). 

I'm still trying to discern God's voice in this situation and make sure this is truly the best time to try.  I can't believe August is 3 months away!  3 months.  Wow.  Not a very long time. 

I don't have very many other thoughts tonight, but am always thinking of and about the future... :)

Look Who's Talkin' Now

This weekend included a lot of baby talk....from everyone else.  Don't you love how that happens?  It seems to come in waves.  It started with someone at work asking me if I was pregnant?  Now, listen, do I LOOK pregnant?  I know my belly is kind of fat, well, fatter than normal, but I am not pregnant.  He said he "heard" it from somewhere and wanted to ask.

It continued on Saturday night with some friends asking when we were going to start trying to have babies.  My hubby actually was the one who mentioned I had something in July and then we were going to start.  Looks like he is on board with "my" plan.  I put "my" in parentheses because God may have a totally different plan for us, and I'm ready and willing for it.

Today, my sweet 5-year-old niece and I were sitting in church.  There was a SUPER cute baby in front of us and the conversation kind of went like this:

Me: "Do you want me to have one of those?"
Niece: "Yes."
Me: "Do you want me to have a boy or a girl?"
Niece: "Girl."
Me: "Well, we want to have a boy."
Niece: "Have one of each.  You can hold the girl and he can hold the boy."

Haha!  It was too cute.  Twins?  Oh no, no thank you.  I don't know if I would be cut out for that.  But I'd be thankful for anything. 

All this baby talk makes me want to have a baby in my belly.  Oh and I took maternity pictures for a friend today, too.  More baby talk!  I love it, I love it, I love it. 

I also got the SWEETEST text from a friend today.  It said, "Happy almost Mother's Day!  I know you aren't a mama yet, but I KNOW the Lord will bless you richly....and you'll be one soon!  Praying for the desires of your heart this morning."  Man, oh man.  That was the sweetest thing, and I am so thankful for friends like her.  God really knows what he is doing.

Intentions

So I have been having this urge lately (really like a day or two) to sponsor a child through Compassion International or Food for the Hungry.  I told my hubby tonight that I wanted to do that, and I came upon a realization.  Do I want to sponsor a child to help a child, or am I attempting to fill a void of wanting my own child?  I do think it would be good for us to do something as a couple like that, to help a child that needs it.  But I think what I really want is to connect with a child, feel like a child needs me, or that I am affecting the well-being of a child-- my own child. 

This, if anything, confirms my desire for a baby.  My friend told me today that God puts prayers in our heart for things that are to be.  Lately I have been praying for my future baby.  She was saying that I am praying for that because it is a desire of my heart, and God wants to give me the desires of my heart, in HIS timing.  That is the kicker.  His timing, not mine.  Honestly though, I'm okay with waiting until God tells me to.  I'm just trying to discern his voice.

I learned in my Bible Study last night that God speaks through the Bible.  The verses I'm meditating on are:

Isaiah 33:6- And there shall be stability in your times, an abundance of salvation, wisdom, and knowledge; the reverent fear and worship of the Lord is your treasure and His. (Amplified Bible)

Zephaniah 3:17- For the Lord your God is living among you.  He is a mighty savior.  He will take delight in you with gladness.  With his love, he will calm all your fears.  He will rejoice over you with joyful songs. (New Living Translation)

While I am not sure how God will reveal these as relavant in my life right now, but I am thinking on them and on Him often.

Fun Dayspring Wall Tile

So I won a Dayspring coupon code from a blog giveaway!  Here is what I got with my $20--

I know, I know...I'm not pregnant.  But I can't WAIT to put this in my baby's room when I am blessed with one.  And it was free money, so therefore being the planner I am I got it.  This verse is from 1 Samuel and Hannah says it.  Now I'm beginning to like the name Samuel for a boy because Samuel means "because I asked the Lord for him". 

I'm beginning to be intentional about praying for a baby.  I know God knows my heart longs to have a baby, but I want to be faithful in praying for it. 

I can't wait until I can actually hang this on the wall one day!

Thoughts for Today

I've been thinking today of worries that I have for the future as it pertains to baby making.  I keep hearing stories about people that have had issues getting pregnant.  I feel like God doesn't want me to worry though, but rather to pray.  Pray for God's will.  Whether that is for me to get pregnant right away when we start trying or whether it is for it to take a while.  Either way, God is there and God loves me. 

I also want to record the names I like for babies because I always forget the names I like.

Girl Names
Olivia

Abigail Grace

Hannah Claire

Boy Names
Jackson

Jake

Cooper

Also, today I told my hubby it was May 1st which meant it was May--when we were supposed to "talk" about having a baby.  He corrected me and said we would talk about it when we had been married 1 year.  So I have another month, and then I guess we can actually talk about it seriously.  Those are my random thoughts for today.